A few weeks ago on a Friday night, I was home alone, watching Netflix, drinking wine, and eating popcorn – a classic single woman’s night in the man-desert. The only things missing were three cats and a pair of slippers. Anyway, on my second glass of wine I had a ‘fantastic idea’ to join a dating site for a month to see if there was anyone out there because to be honest, there has been no “Polo!” to my “Marco?” lately.
It’s embarrassing to admit because I’m afraid of what others will think, but after a heart-crushing breakup, I just needed to know there are real men out there, somewhere, anywhere. Next morning I woke up thinking,
“Oh no! What have I done?!”
But the deed was done, and the proof was on my credit card statement, so I decided to rock this new experience for 30 days.
I looked around the website, but found that my responses generally went like this: “No, no, no, no, no, no, no, HECK NO!” Ultimately, it became yet another place tempting me to find my identity in what others thought of me, my pictures, or my profile. Don’t get me wrong, my profile was awesome, and it felt great when I received alerts that someone was interested, but my phone was controlling me, and I hate that. I was beginning to find my worth in who or how many liked me.
But an online dating site isn’t the only place where we’re tempted to find our value in what people think of us, is it? I mean, getting your photo liked on Instagram is pretty gratifying, and having someone share what you said on Facebook can puff up your self-esteem, and don’t get me started on how desirable you can feel when an important Executive adds you to their LinkedIn list of acquaintances. There are so many ways we try to satisfy our need to feel valued, and very few of them require commitment or hard work. We want to feel valued quickly, without having to invest time in our character.
I’m reminded that my worth is determined by Jesus. Without Him, I am just another face in the billions. I am not Angela Merkel, Tina Fey, or Mother Theresa, and that acknowledgment actually brings me freedom. I don’t have to be on the cover of Sports Illustrated to matter. I am valuable because God created me. By giving me breath He says I matter to Him and I have a purpose.
There are a lot of verses I could put in here, but quite frankly, I’ve run out of space. So go read your Bible and find out what God wants to say to YOU. Because you ARE valuable, you just need to go to the right source to hear it. Sometimes living this thing means stepping back from people and media in order to hear what God is saying, and that’s what just living the thing means to me this week.