Yesterday was a great day! It started off with deep conversation with some amazing women and later meeting up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while. This morning I was tired from all of Saturday’s events, and decided to go to the coffee shop for coffee and return to my house to watch a sermon online.
I grabbed some old shorts and sucked it in as I squeezed through the waistband. After a quick glance at the mirror I immediately pealed them off and traded them in for a more comfortable pair of jeans. I got my coffee and drank it slowly as I listened to the sermon, and it was exactly what I needed to hear.
You see, as of late, squeezing into a pair of shorts… or any piece of clothing, hasn’t been unfamiliar territory. I’m not overweight, but it seems that before I could slip into a dress without a double look, and I miss that carefree confidence. The truth is, the difference is only a matter of a few pounds, so why does it suddenly bother me more than in the past? This is where that timely sermon fits in, the pastor read this:
“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)
I think that when we are dealing with our issues, insecurities, or sin; our “stuff” is often the result of an unguarded heart. As I was back tracking to figure out where my insecurity started from, I realized that I hadn’t been guarding my eyes, “aka” the windows to my heart. As a society, we are obsessed with “before and afters”, shows like Fixer Upper have cult-like followings for a reason. My favorites have been “before and afters” of people who lose weight.
I realized that lately, without intentional pursuit, I’ve been scrolling through Instagram and pausing on before and after workout photos. Initially, the photos made me amazed, like, “Woah!” That dude lost so much weight in 3 months! Or dang, that girl tightened up everything in just 8 weeks?! But as you view one photo, the app memorizes what you see and starts suggesting similar photos, until you get to a place where you are unsatisfied with yourself because if ALL these people can make huge changes in a matter of “days” then you can too. You SHOULD too. Um what?! (queue song… ‘Be careful little eyes what you see.’)
Guarding our heart applies to everything our senses take in, and not just to our efforts to resist sexual temptations. Now I’m on high alert to what I allow my eyes see. If what I see reaches my heart and it isn’t healthy, my heart loses its fearlessness. I’m not willing to give that up without a fight.
“Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.”
This morning I am redirecting my gaze from social media to ahead and Above and… just living this thing.