God of Justice

My youngest daughter started fifth grade with a teacher who was… sick.  Each school year she would choose some students to be her ‘pets’, upon whom she would heap praise, affirmation and recognition, and another group whom she would belittle, demean, and embarrass.  For whatever reason she put my daughter in the latter group, so before long I was watching my child crumble under what really amounted to mental, emotional, and verbal abuse.

I pleaded with the teacher, the principal, and even the District’s school board, to no avail.  Powerless and desperate, I picketed the school, and the parade route of the annual town festival, discovering there were many other children and parents who knew about, or had experienced the same abuse but also felt powerless.

At that time I was already going through a season where I was feeling deeply disappointed in God because of what I perceived as His failure to ‘fight for me’ when life was… just beating me up. Let’s just say it was not love for Jesus that kept me from giving in to the desire to “tear this woman up”. 

An honest look into my heart revealed deep pain, righteous anger, and a NEED for justice; but MY kind of justice… to inflict as much pain as possible on this ‘wicked’ woman.  But because I did not want to go to jail, I needed God to put the ‘hit’ out for me.  Pain for pain!

“The human heart is the most deceitful of all things, and desperately wicked.  Who really knows how bad it is?  But I, the LORD, search all hearts and examine secret motives.  I give all people their due rewards, according to what their actions deserve.” Jeremiah 17:9-10

So understand there is a reason these days feel so familiar to me.  Every waking hour being bombarded by information “lobbying” me to be offended by something, or to hate somebody; white people, law enforcement, liberals, conservatives, democrats, republicans… and if I am not constantly stirring up painful memories to make me angry enough to spew cleverly-disguised hate… well there is a label for me too!

But back then I learned some things about God’s justice that saved me from destroying my life, and still protect my heart today.  First, God’s commands me to be just and to seek justice, especially on behalf of the powerless.  But how, God?!?! 

Speak and behave in accordance with all of GOD’S Word… to all and sundry… without fear or favor… in LOVE!  (Ephesians 4:15).  And when love feels too impractical or lofty a goal, I still must speak HIS truth with passion, humility, and respect, leaving people with their dignity, itself an act of love which can only be engineered in me by God Himself through the power of the Holy Spirit. Help! Jesus!

Second, there exists a spiritual law God has woven into the very fabric of human relationships. It is the law of the harvest:

“Don’t be misled – you cannot mock the justice of God.  You will ALWAYS harvest what you plant.” Galatians 6:7 (Emphasis mine).

Finally, as Jamaicans would say, “Nuhbaddi naah get weh wid nutten!”   The ultimate outpouring of the complete justice and wrath of God is SO SURE, Jesus had to die to open THE ONE WAY of escape from destruction, in this life and for eternity.

“Listen!  The Lord is coming with countless numbers of his holy ones to execute judgment on the people of the world.  He will convict EVERY person of ALL the ungodly things they have done and for ALL the insults that ungodly sinners have spoken against him.”  Jude 14b – 15 (Emphasis mine).

Back then it felt like abject failure when I had to pull my daughter out and put her in a new school.  There was no relief from the turmoil raging in my heart that made me physically ill.  Then God gave me a clear choice:

Believe He IS a God of perfect justice to be freed and completely healed, or keep demanding my version of justice and let the enemy gleefully destroy me.  I still choose to trust God’s justice, mercy, and grace.  The freedom from rage was immediate, my relationship with God better than ever, and healing from pain continues to this day. 

“My child, pay attention to what I say.  Listen carefully to my words.  Don’t lose sight of them.  Let them penetrate deep into your heart, for they bring life to those who find them, and healing to their whole body.  Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. ”  Proverbs 4:20-23

Yeah… I’m going to do that. 

Memorial Day 2021

With two children in the military, who have already lost friends they trained and served with, Memorial Day takes on particular significance and gravity for me each year.  I LOVE THIS COUNTRY, and will never apologize for the pride I feel that my children have, of their own volition, sworn to “defend it against all enemies, foreign and domestic.”

However, my reality is that of military families everywhere who live aware that on any given day, at any time, our loved ones could lose their lives fulfilling that oath. The paperwork they have to fill out about their “remains” reminds you.  The tattoos the military records so their body parts are identifiable remind you.  News of hostilities anywhere remind you. Movies and TV shows you can no longer watch, remind you.

I actually remember allowing myself one hour and forty-five minutes to cry; the time it took to drive to my son’s swearing-in, and then the shock when that same son administered the oath to his sister in a surprise ceremony that had me feeling so proud, but again, shedding a few tears.

Since then, I have had many “go to Jesus moments!”  The veil in the temple was torn (Mark 15:38), so I am not waiting for any special invitation! But more than anything I have learned to pray earnestly for my kids and others who serve.  To ditch the meaningless platitudes and pray the most important thing… that no matter where they serve, or what happens to them, they would never be forever separated from the presence of God.

All of us must die eventually.  Our lives are like water spilled out on the ground, which cannot be gathered up again.  But God does not just sweep life away; instead, he devises ways to bring us back when we have been separated from him.”  II Samuel 14:14 NLT

Truth be told we should all LIVE AWARE of this reality.  Just last week my friend hung out with her beloved mom on an ordinary morning, and lost her that afternoon.  No warning; no prolonged illness; just gone… home… to Jesus… face to face… seeing with her eyes, what she believed by faith!

So yes, Memorial Day is coming again, and we make plans to celebrate with family and friends. Please take a beat to remember and honor the sacrifice of those we’ve lost, and the loved ones they’ve left behind. Remember too that, “We can make our plans, but the Lord determines our steps.” Proverbs 16:9

Be Careful Little Eyes What You See…

Author, Adrienne Yerzy

Yesterday was a great day! It started off with deep conversation with some amazing women and later meeting up with an old friend I hadn’t seen in a while. This morning I was tired from all of Saturday’s events, and decided to go to the coffee shop for coffee and return to my house to watch a sermon online.

I grabbed some old shorts and sucked it in as I squeezed through the waistband. After a quick glance at the mirror I immediately pealed them off and traded them in for a more comfortable pair of jeans. I got my coffee and drank it slowly as I listened to the sermon, and it was exactly what I needed to hear.

You see, as of late, squeezing into a pair of shorts… or any piece of clothing, hasn’t been unfamiliar territory. I’m not overweight, but it seems that before I could slip into a dress without a double look, and I miss that carefree confidence. The truth is, the difference is only a matter of a few pounds, so why does it suddenly bother me more than in the past? This is where that timely sermon fits in, the pastor read this:

“Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” (Proverbs 4:23)

I think that when we are dealing with our issues, insecurities, or sin; our “stuff” is often the result of an unguarded heart. As I was back tracking to figure out where my insecurity started from, I realized that I hadn’t been guarding my eyes, “aka” the windows to my heart. As a society, we are obsessed with “before and afters”, shows like Fixer Upper have cult-like followings for a reason. My favorites have been “before and afters” of people who lose weight.

I realized that lately, without intentional pursuit, I’ve been scrolling through Instagram and pausing on before and after workout photos. Initially, the photos made me amazed, like,  “Woah!” That dude lost so much weight in 3 months! Or dang, that girl tightened up everything in just 8 weeks?! But as you view one photo, the app memorizes what you see and starts suggesting similar photos, until you get to a place where you are unsatisfied with yourself because if ALL these people can make huge changes in a matter of “days” then you can too. You SHOULD too. Um what?! (queue song… ‘Be careful little eyes what you see.’)

Guarding our heart applies to everything our senses take in, and not just to our efforts to resist sexual temptations.  Now I’m on high alert to what I allow my eyes see. If what I see reaches my heart and it isn’t healthy, my heart loses its fearlessness. I’m not willing to give that up without a fight.

“Let your eyes look straight ahead;
fix your gaze directly before you.”

This morning I am redirecting my gaze from social media to ahead and Above and… just living this thing.

Dem Bones…Dem Dry Bones!

Author, Ann Marie Collins

Long have I aspired to be one of those super-disciplined people who read through the entire Bible in a year…every year…for many years!  Still haven’t done it in a year, and I keep getting stuck at the Book of Ezekiel.  It starts out great, but several more chapters in and I am soooooo overwhelmed by the dire consequences of God’s own people becoming “impudent, stubborn, and rebellious”, I feel I might end up needing medication, therapy, or a Book of Ezekiel Support Group.

Even so, the entire book is permeated with the persistent, unfailing, unwavering love of God for His people.  He simply refuses to give up or abandon them as the unavoidable disasters caused by of their rebellion rain down; even when there appears to be no hope that they will ever turn back to Him.

But there is a reason He is called, “…the God of hope”, (Romans 15:13) as evidenced by the account in Ezekiel 37:1-14, where the prophet is taken in a vision to a large valley full of bones which are “very many” and “very dry”.

As a shameless back-of-the-book-first reader (don’t judge!) I’ll tell you now that the bones represent God’s displaced people Israel who had ‘died’ in their despair saying,

“…Our bones are dry, our hope is lost, and we ourselves are cut off!” v. 11.

Loneliness is a liar, despair is a disease, but hopelessness…?  Hopelessness is a stone cold killer!

God asks Ezekiel, “…can these bones live?”, to which Mr. Consummate Diplomat replies, “O Lord God, You know.”  And I can’t even blame him; not when he is standing in the middle of Absolutely No Hope Valley!  I’ve been to that dismal place, and not just as a tourist looking to buy a T-shirt or a refrigerator magnet. No.  There was a time I LIVED in that valley; almost took out a mortgage…


“…O dry bones, hear the word of the Lord!…  ‘Surely I will cause breath to enter into you, and you shall live…Then you shall know that I AM the LORD.’”  vs. 4-6 (emphases mine).

When you feel like you’re standing all by yourself, in your own valley full of the bones of dried-up inspiration, dead dreams, and the ashes of godly but frustrated desires; when despair spreads debilitating infection to every belief you have about God’s love and power to do what He knows is the very best for you, His kingdom, and His glory; then hunt down every verse in the Bible that tells the truth about God’s character, commitment, love, and power, and anchor your soul to them, or your trust in God will die…and nothing good comes from that!

God is a truth-teller and a promise-keeper. If He says it, you can build your life on it, and if He promised, He will do it.  Your dry bones will live and

“…  Then you shall know that I, the LORD, have spoken it and performed it.” v. 14b

Believe God, and keep on… just living the thing.

Celebrate The Wins

Author, Sonna Evans

A couple of years ago when I was an intern we would always start off our team meetings by celebrating the wins. This was a new concept to me; taking time out to think over the past week and recognize ways that God had worked in my life, or in this instance, in the ministry. I came to love this practice.

I love this concept because my mind tends to go a little towards the negative side. I’m not necessarily a pessimist by definition, but I do struggle with being judgmental and critical and too often that lends itself to a more negative focus. However, when I spend time with the Lord and ask Him to show me His handiwork, He does.

This week I have had a lot of wins. Some bigger, others smaller, and some…well the word silly comes to mind, maybe because they made me laugh. God is NOT silly, but I do believe He has a sense of humor. Here are some wins from yesterday:

  1. My history with yard sales is dismal – I never make much money – but this time I asked for help and had several people donate awesome items.
  2. I changed the date from the 22nd to the 29th to give myself more time to get things together. Turns out that on the 29th  there was a huge rummage sale at the school around the corner and we had non-stop customers from 8 in the morning to 1 in the afternoon. Crazy!
  3. A friend that wanted to be a part of the yard sale could not participate after I changed the date, but the night before she had a change of plans and was able to be there to help and keep me company. We had a great day together!
  4. I took the leftover items to a local thrift store, but hey would not take one of the chairs because it had a stain on it. As I started to think, “What am I going to do with this chair?” a woman walked by my truck and said, “Oh, what a beautiful chair!” I asked her if she wanted it. She said yes and actually had a vehicle big enough to take it home. Score!
  5. My kids were ALL available and willing to help most of the day and did so with joy. A neighbor who I don’t see much of was home and came over and we got to talk as her daughter played with my friend’s daughter. Relationship building!

Wow! I could go on and on.  And these are just wins from yesterday. Each win had significance and  meaning for me for a variety of different reasons.

God is good! Did you have some wins this week? Has He been working in and through you? I would love to hear your wins. It would encourage me and spur me on as I am …just living the thing!

And let us consider how we may spur one another on…encouraging one another…. Hebrews 10:24-25

Apple Pie And Fractions…

Author, Adrienne Yerzy
…the happiest patient on earth

A couple of weeks ago my appendix decided to stab me in the back and I made the call to have it removed forever. Ok, the surgeon made that call, but either way the sucker is gone and I don’t miss it at all.

During recovery, a lot of friends sent sweet messages, dropped off food, cards, and delivered flowers. My landlord has the gift of “pie baking”, something I know nothing about, and gave me a fresh, warm apple pie. People, I had a hot pie on my counter all for ME! Now if you cut a pie like a normally person, there are 8 slices. And as you can imagine, one pie for one person is a lot of pie… if I gave one slice away it would hardly be missed because I would still have 7 SLICES OF PIE ALL TO MYSELF.

I wish I could think so generously about other fractions in my life. Let’s be honest, 1/8 of a pie sounds easy to let go of, but thinking about giving away 1/10 of my hard earned dollars…not so easy. Honestly, if I was reading this, I would have hit that little red “x” in the top right corner of the screen by now.

This past year has been rough. And I am sure this is uncomfortable to read, believe me, it is more uncomfortable to write, but among the many different changes in my life, one has been an increase of expenses. My amazing roommate decided to get married, and they preferred to move in together, the nerve of wedded bliss. My car moved from the street in front of my house to the car graveyard, and so my expenses literally doubled within weeks. DOUBLED.

In December I felt God challenge me to tithe regularly, something I hadn’t done in years. I didn’t feel burdened, but I felt like He might be asking me to do this to show me more about faith. It was a commitment to believe that He can provide, a commitment to acknowledge that everything I have was given to me by Him, and a commitment to believe that when I have need, I will see God take action and provide. And seriously, who doesn’t want to see God act for good?

So tonight I made my payment towards faith. My investment towards seeing God show that he is on my side. And I’d like to acknowledge that since January 1st, I have paid all my bills and I have not been hungry. I have also on occasion purchased wine, so as you can see, it isn’t like I’m living in a tent on a street corner. And to acknowledging that in front of other people is a way to help me continue with that commitment and is another way God gets the credit for what happens in my life. I have a lot of hospital bills coming up and you know what? I’m not even stressing, I’m …just living this thing.

A Lenten Journey… by Sonna Evans

“The next day the great crowd that had come for the festival heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting,


‘Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!’

‘Blessed is the king of Israel!’

Jesus found a young donkey and sat on it, as it is written:

 ‘Do not be afraid, Daughter Zion;
    see, your king is coming,
    seated on a donkey’s colt.’” John 12:12-19

There is a book I love to read every year during Lent called ‘Small Surrenders’ by Emilie Griffin. I have read it almost every year for the past several years, appreciating how it prepares my heart and mind for Easter Sunday, celebrating and remembering the resurrection of our Lord, Jesus.

Today is Palm Sunday. It is significant because it is a reminder of the day Jesus Christ entered Jerusalem one week before His crucifixion; when He was welcomed and worshipped to fulfill the prophecy written of him in Zechariah 9:9,

“Rejoice greatly, Daughter Zion!
    Shout, Daughter Jerusalem!
See, your king comes to you,
    righteous and victorious
lowly and riding on a donkey,
    on a colt, the foal of a donkey.”

It was the practice of that time period to throw clothes or small branches down before someone worthy of great respect when they entered the city; to pay homage. The palm branches symbolized peace and victory, while riding on a donkey represented humility and peace. What a perfect entry for our Lord; humility, peace and victory.

A fantastic scene! I love the idea of Jesus entering the city of Jerusalem just days before his crucifixion, receiving some of the honor He is due. That is my Lenten surrender. To give to Jesus the honor He is due.

I did not grow up celebrating Lent, but I have fully embraced the season as an adult. Practicing small surrenders during this time of year to refocus and refresh my walk with God has been so meaningful. Emilie Griffin uses quotes from others who have walked this journey; who give their insights and encouragement to set this time aside for reflection and remembrance. I know I need this in my life.

These days our lives can so quickly get bogged down with to-do lists and busyness. Add to that the pressure I have experienced in our Christian culture to do “big” things for God. Griffin relates,

“We fantasize about mountaintop experiences. But most of the Christian stories give scant support for this. In the Gospels at least, Jesus appears in ordinary circumstances. He is visiting…He is walking along the road…he is…with friends, or crossing the water on a fishing boat. The parables Jesus teaches are filled with metaphors from ordinary experience.”

So this is where the practice of “small surrenders” has spoken the loudest to me. It is in the small things, the ordinary, and the mundane that I can see and follow the example of Jesus as I am …just living the thing.

Stir It Up…

Author, Ann Marie Collins

Ask a child, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”, and the answers range from hilariously entertaining to terrifying.  A different times in their lives my oldest was determined to join the CIA (she would have been good), my son talked about joining the Israeli army (he is only about one-eighth Jewish), and my youngest was either going to be a nurse or do hair, (she chose nursing).

I cannot recall ever telling my children they could be anything they wanted to be, because the truth is most things require you to have some kind of minimum qualifications; a natural ‘bend’, inherent talent, or giftedness that can harnessed and honed.  I will never sing like Alicia Keys, run like Usain Bolt, or do a Biles like Olympic gymnast Simone – not without serious damage to my body parts.

However, I believe in the omniscient God who has placed within each of us “gracious gifts” which cannot be earned, bought, or sold.  They light up the passion and fire in you, and you would do it for free if you could.  In the middle of activating and exercising your giftedness you know you’re ‘in your lane’; feeling energized, exhilarated, and anxious all at the same time.  That is how I feel when I am writing alone, or speaking in front of a group of people; excited, fueled by passion and nervous energy.

But sometimes it also feels like life, or people in life, are orchestrating to douse every inner fire with buckets of fear; fear of the toll failure would take, or the cost of successfully ‘doing you’, or the pain of judgement.

“That is why I would remind you to stir up (rekindle the embers of, fan the flame of, and keep burning) the GRACIOUS GIFT OF GOD, THE INNER FIRE THAT IS IN YOU…  For God did not give us a spirit of timidity; of cowardice, of craven (weak spineless, gutless), – and cringing and fawning fear, but He has given us a spirit of power and of love and of calm and well-balanced mind and discipline and self-control.” II Timothy 1:7 Amplified Bible

Five years ago Os Guiness spoke at our church and with a single phrase from the Bible lit an all-consuming fire in me and changed the direction of my life forever.

“For David, after he had served God’s will and purpose and counsel in his own generation, fell asleep…” Acts 13:36a Amplified Bible.

The decision was immediate and final; THAT is what I want said about my life.

At 55 years old it is both sobering and motivating to acknowledge that more than half of my life is over.  I refuse to let fear of anyone or anything stop me from ‘stirring it up’.  Along with His gracious gifts, He has given unconditional love and access to His infinite power working in and through me.  So with everything to gain, and nothing of eternal value to lose, I’m …just living the thing.