Finding Comfort In God First…

Author, Sonna Evans
Author, Sonna Evans

Growing up it was just my mom, my sister and I. When my mom got home from work she would send my sister and I to the corner store for Pepsi and Doritos and the three of us would watch Dark Shadows as we snacked on the goodies. I didn’t know it then, but my mom suffered from depression and anxiety, and food was one of her comforts.

I have a habit of using food as comfort as well, but never really addressed it the way I should have. Oh, it has come up several times over the past 20 years, but I’ve never fully given it over to God.

Two weeks ago I went in for a physical. My lab results exposed my bad eating habits in the form of very high cholesterol. I knew this day would come, I really did. First, there’s a family history, and second, my numbers have been creeping up ever so slightly in recent years. This one was a big jump and my doctor was concerned. She recommended medication. Ugh, no more medication please. I knew then it was time for a change once and for all.

As I drove to work, I had time to think. I was angry, sad, frustrated and scared. I was angry that God had allowed the consequences of my eating habits to actually catch up with me. I was sad I was going to have to say goodbye to eating whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. I was frustrated that I couldn’t have my way anymore without running the risk of serious health issues. Lastly, and most importantly, I was scared. Change scares me.

As I drove I considered how much I really did not want to make the necessary changes. I actually told God,

“I do not want to do this.”

I thought back to all the things that have happened in my life over the past several years and remember with each one I prayed and told God,

“Whatever you want me to do, I will do.”

There was no hesitation in those times. I knew God had me in His hand and I knew that He would work in a mighty way through it all. In this situation though, I felt rebellious.

It struck me that this was really like an addiction. I thought about all my friends in Celebrate Recovery who have overcome meth addiction, alcohol addiction, and thought, how did they do it? I know they do it with God’s help. That’s the answer; I KNOW it’s the answer. I need to crave Him; look to Him, not food, for my comfort, and to ask Him to fill me when I’m feeling needy.

“I can do all things through Christ, who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13

I came around by the time I hit Modesto. I knew that I could say, Lord whatever you want me to do, I will do it. So, here I go, walking in obedience and …just living the thing.

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