It felt good to swing a golf club again. It had been at least three years since I had played the game and I realized just how much I missed it. I was surprised that I could still drive the ball 150 yards; 100 yards straight and 50 yards to the right. Anyway I was thankful that after three surgeries I still had a good range of motion and no pain.
By that evening, however, things had changed. Fast forward one week and I am having an unexpected surgery to remove my left implant and clean up an infection that two strong antibiotics couldn’t heal. This wasn’t part of the plan and just like that I was back at square one.
Home for two days and on the couch, held hostage by my nightly physical therapy treatment, I lost it. Physically I was fine, but emotionally I was done; I didn’t want to do this anymore. With tears streaming down my face and one hot flash after another sapping my energy I gave into despair.
I felt like I was on a journey whose final destination kept disappearing around the next bend. This bump in the road threw me for a loop because just when I thought I could see the light at the end of the tunnel; it turned out to be a train.
Not surprisingly God was faithful in the midst of my struggles. You see, that train turned out to be full of the hands and feet of God in the form of wonderful friends and family; people ready to speak truth and scripture into my situation, reminding me to live like I really believe those scriptures and not let my feelings take over.
The first thing one friend said was, “The Lord is keeping you on your knees”. Simple words packing powerful conviction and definitely not a bad place to be. Katelyn, one of my favorite 10 year-olds, told me to listen to the song “No Matter What” by Kerrie Roberts. One line says;
“No matter what, I’m going to love you; no matter what I’m going to need you. I know that you can find a way to keep me from the pain but if not I’ll trust you, no matter what”
The song is now part of my daily play list and a great reminder to me that God is stronger than my feelings. Katelyn’s mama gave me this verse:
“Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.” Joshua 1:9
I camped on this verse for the better part of a week letting it become part of my thinking. If God has commanded me to be strong and courageous He will give me the power to do just that. This time it came through his praying people who make me feel surrounded by love and filled with gratitude to be…..just living the thing.