The Illusion of Control…

Author, Sonna Evans
Author, Sonna Evans

Can we begin to think we know what God is doing, how He is doing it, or why? Can we fathom when He will answer a prayer, or how, or who He may use to answer it?

I saw a Facebook post this week that said, “If you want to make God laugh, tell Him your plans.” “That’s a good one,” I thought, but the truth of the matter is; I do it all the time.

You see at a very young age I began to believe that I was the only one who could hold it all together. If I didn’t then everything around me would fall apart. Tall order for a child, but I carried the weight of the world on my shoulders.

This went with me into adulthood, marriage, and parenting. Only in the last ten years have I been able to let go and allow my Lord to take that huge burden and surrender it all to Him. This has been so freeing. Not that I really ever had control, but I had the illusion of control, and some habits die hard.

Being the parent of adult children ages 18 to 20 is very stress-inducing.  They can make so many mistakes that could affect the rest of their lives in positive and negative ways. I mostly seem to focus on the negative ways.

But I pray.

When I feel the need to control rear its ugly head, I give it all back to the Father and ask Him to parent my children.

… “Eye has not seen, nor ear heard, nor have entered into the heart of man. The things which God has prepared for those who love Him.” 1 Corinthians 2:9

For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts. Isaiah 55:9

I look at the verses above and wonder, “What am I thinking?”  I do not have the mind of the Lord. I do not know His ways, His thoughts. They are so much more than my teeny tiny little brain could ever comprehend. So, why do I obsess, ruminate, or worry. God’s got my kids. I just need to lift them before the Father who calls them His children. Did you catch that? His children.

Just tonight during a great conversation with one of my kids, I listened as they told their story, but at the same time I watched the beautiful tapestry I could see being woven right before my eyes, by the hand of the Great Creator. Wow, what a masterpiece!

God used some strands of my life, some good experiences, and some painful experiences, but He used them and wove them in a way that was so beautiful and amazing that I cannot look at some of those experiences in the same way ever again. He is answering all  my prayers, He is in control.

So amazed by God’s wondrous faithfulness as I am just living the thing!


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